Day 12 - still negative HPT

Was chatting with a grp of friends about symptoms of pregnancy and we concluded that sore breasts means a high chance of being positive.

but no, tested this morning at 5am and its still a negative.

i wish i could know earlier.

The earlier i know, the earlier i can make the decision as to which job offer i should take up.

Job Offer 1

• established co - no worries of it closing down
• new job scope/position - no precedent (as good as being in a start up)
• sales - targets - stress
• travelling SEA - not good if pregnant
• will not pay maternity benefits (as per employment act in singapore)
• higher pay - cld use it
• good benefits - perks of the job

JOb Offer 2

• New start up - prospects?
• familar work - setting up an office/systems etc
• no travelling - a definitie plus
• lower pay - 20% less - we cld do with more money
• willing to pay 3rd mth maternity benefits even if not covered by govt
• nearer to home
• flexible working hours

after listing down the points, im still undecided.

Day 9 - negative HPT

tested this morning at 6.37am.

did i say i was on mC today? oh yes, the GP gave me a couple of days off - the cough mixture is supposed to make me sleepy - think it works, i woke up at 6.30 instead of 4am, major improvement.

the first thing i did was to test, the test is negative. (as expected) - its a little bit too early.

oh well.

prepared breakfast for hubby, and got online to blog. oh dear, can it be called obssessive blogging?

i noticed that 1 got a blog almost every day and sometimes twice in a day.

Night 8 - baby names

just before bedtime, out of the blue, DH started talking abt testing HPT...it is only Day8, i think its too early to test, decided to do it tomorrow morning instead.

the talk then went on to baby names. the conclusion was if its a gal, she will be called le qi, kelly, and if its a boy jun hui, ??.

now both of us couldnt agree on what the boy english name will be...i suggested kieran, which hubby says sounds like ki xiao (i was like huh), i like the name kelvin, and he said all the kelvins he knows are yandao arragont (spello).

he suggested Gavin (which sounds like brand), might as well call him Louis V. we tumbled thru derrick, calvan (from not having kelvin), solomon (might as well call him methusaleh), we went thru a few more names but cant remember them off hand now.

one name we sort of agreed on was kaeran (doesnt that look like kieran - my original choice?) ha ha.

and we drifted into sleep.......Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Day 8 - went to see the GP

thats it, another night of waking up at 4am and not being able to get back to sleep.

add to that a mix, a cough that wouldnt go away and only appears at night *arghs*

went to the GP, he refuses to give me anything for the insomnia, diagnose it as *stress* and it will go away.

but he gave me cough mixture and advice me to take that to go to sleep instead. *right* i guess i am going to need more than 1 bottle.

day 7 - nightmare

When am i going to get really some nice uninterruppted sleep?

had a nightmare that woke me up. I dreamt that i shot someone in the afternoon and hid him rolled up in a carpet under my mums bed. and when it comes to nightfall, tried to dispose the body by chopping him into sashimi slices - nicely arranged on a platter.

of yeah, i even dreamt that i couldnt finsihed the job and then decided to confess to the police. thats when i woke up. traumatic decision. *wryly*

i wonder what can those professional dream interpreters read into that??

weird, really weird

2ww The language of babymaking

It is Day 6 of the 2 week wait (2ww), and hell it has been a long 6 days, how am i ever going to survive the next 8 days?

random thoughts
all over the online forums, women who are ttc form support groups with other women who are also in their 2ww. i now can fully empathise the need to express every single thought, fear, wish during this period of time - otherwise how else to survive the emotional roller coaster ?

sore nipples, pre PMS symptons or cld it be conception? tender breasts, PMS or BFP? loss of appetite, sleeplessness, pimples, moodiness - whart does all those symptons fall under?

the language of babymaking
its a whole new world out there, hell a whole new species of womankind, which i am slowly evolving into.

lets put it this way, i am beginning to understand the language. and use it. too.

for those who are reading this blog and have no idea what i am talking abt, let me give you a sample of the abbreviations that is used.

starting with something relatively easy like

2ww
BFP
BFN
LP
O
BD
ML
DH
DS
DD
RE
AF
IUI
IVF
SOIUI
HCG
BHCG
AIH

im sure you get the picture now.

if anyone wants to know what they mean, write me. lol.

i got the time to reply and explain during this 2ww, perhaps it can keep my mind off the 2ww.

sperm enhancement and IUI

D day is today. couldn;t sleep well (obviously) so what's new??

We got a 9.30am appt at CARE to produce the sample. Hubby was directed into a room with oh yes, porn videos and porn magazines....now this must be the only place in singapore where the men are encouraged to do porn.

thk goodness hubby did not have performance anxiety, he did it pretty fast while i was in the reception area reading thru the informative booklets (btw i got some pretty informative reading material on fertilty and mtds)

after producing the sample, we were told that it takes 2.5 hrs for it to be processed. ok, we decided to go for breakfast. we went over to centrept for breakfast. we finished breakfast 10am. we took a stroll at centrepoint 10.15am. we walked to robinsons (ground floor; still not open) 10.17am. we walked to marks and spencers (3rd floor; still not open). we went to the loo 10.30am (the loo is open). sat at macdonalds for another 10 min. went up to robinsons (finally opened 10.45am. shopped a bit, looking at everything and not registering anything 10.55am.

we decided to go back to CARE. now the nice lady at the counter did say 11.30am and we are half an hour early. but nvm abt that, hubby insisted we go up at 11am. so we went up, and the nice lady said it's not ready, will call us once it's ready for collection.

fine, 11.10am, Metro is open, we went shopping (or i went shopping and hubby tagged)...in the space of 20 min, i managed to get 2 shirts for work. LOL. call it retail therapy but it works, time flies. the lady called at 11.30am and we paid for stuff in a hurry and got up to CARE.

With the sample came a report and a bill of $147. now, i was a bit curious abt how we were going to transport the sample there. it has to be kept at body temperature. well i found out soon enough - the lady said just stuff it in yr bra. i was like ???? well ok.

she directed me to the same room hubby was in earlier - the porn room. ooh..interesting, the porn video was still showing..japanese porn...kinky.

got the sample stuffed in bra and left CARE to proceed to TB. in the meantime, we were vry curious about the report we got abt hubby's sperm sample.

The report wasn't good. the volume barely made it to 20, the normal form is only at 4% pre treatment. but then it's a 100% improvement compared to the last sperm sample at 2% normal form. Hubby was very worried that the sample is so bad that IUI cannot be done.

Our worries were for nothing, Dr Fy went ahead with the procedure. first the nurse prepared me for the procedure, which means removing clothes and getting into a hospital like gown, positioning into that gynae chair.

she got me quickly enough and then we had to wait about 10 min for Dr FY. The procedure itself took less than 10 min, i know i am very tensed then and it didn't make things better, in fact, the doc had to reposition the instruments again as i was so tensed that i kept pushing it out.

the procedure itself was painless, the doc then left the room and i was told to rest for 20 min. hubby then came in and sat besides me while we waited. after 20 min, the nurse came back in and hubby got to go out while i got dressed.

i was telling the nurse that i could feel wetness and she said it's normal. some of the sample is expected to flow out. i hope that not all of it flowed out. *cross fingers*

we waited for a while to see the gynae for him to explain abt the sperm sample results. the results aren't good per se. having a normal count of 4% for form is definitely not good. but he said he has seen instances where the gal got pregnant anyways.

He said there are various reasons why the form is not good, some of which are genetic factors, lifestyle factors (losing weight), overly tight pants, and swollen veins called varicoleous or soemthing like that. which cld be determined via a physical exam and an operation.

i asked what shd we do next, whether he can do the physical or shd hubby be started on some medicines. both the guys said they will start with the medicines first. lol. now hubby knows how awkward it is, having another person up yr privates.

anyways, dr Fy prescribed some male hormones for hubby and it's expected to take 2 months before any results can be seen.

back to the IUI, it will take 14 days before the results are out. and it's going to be a long long 14 days wait.

we got the medicines and the bill of $ 270 and left the clinic with hopes that this cycle will work.

on other matters, we got some good news - i got a job and i got credit card approval as well. so far, cross fingers, things are looking up.

Virgin Posting

wow, another new blog..i wonder who has babymaking.blogspot.com

brb

I'm going to transfer some/most of my previosu blogging into this one. This blog seems more user friendly. *cross fingers that i dun mess it up*

CD16 Sat & jab

was very anxious, so much so that i couldn;t sleep well for the past 4 days, been waking up at all times.

it's hard not to worry, though the circumstances is beyond our control. tahnkfully, i met a group of gals online who are facing thru the same problems and they offer great support thru out this trying time.

organsing a gathering online for a grp of 15 persons who mostly have not met each other before takes a lot of worry off my mind about TTC. (btw the gathering was this afternoon and 4pm, and it went off swell {if i may say so})

so eh back to the gynae visit, we were there very early, at 9am although we had a 9.30am appt and had to wait for a couple of patients before being seen.

Dr Fy didn;t say much till after the scan. he said there was a follicle that is big enough at 20mm which can mature. and then he became a lot more approachable as he talked what to do next.

next step
i'm supposed to get a hcg jab to encourage the egg to release from the follicle. and there's specific timing to follow which is between 9 to 9.30pm tonight. The jab can be done at any GP since FY clinic is close and most GP are not open at 9 plus, we decided to go to a 24 hr clinic instead.

my next qn was, will the jab be painful? Dr FY said no, it will not be as the jab is supposed to be on the butt which is fleshy, to which i joked that i'm fleshy all around. which kinda lightened up the mood.

so the plan is that i get a jab on sat nite, and the egg will be released on Mon. Hubby has to produce a sample on Mon Am at CARE, and then bring the sample to TB, where Fy is at on Mondays and he will perform the IUI procedure.

we got the stuff we needed from the recept and off we go. did i mentioned that we got a gathering at 4pm this afternoon?...that really took our minds off the jab that evening.

evening time came round, we went to the 24 hr clinic at yishun. Dr FY said it wouldn;t hurt rite? in a pig's eye, that jab is bloody painful. and it took a bloody long time to administer as well. It cost 36 bucks for the GP's service as well.

CD12

appt with the FY on CD12 for ovulation monitoring - he couldn't cfm the growth of the follicles - the largest is only 9mm and it's already CD12 - not very good considerng that i'm already on the maximum dose of clomid this cycle.

made another appt to see him on CD16 to see if the follicles did develop - if it didn't grow any more, this cycle is shot as well.

i really dun know what to do if this cycle is shot as well, with the news that the co will be closing down means that i am in the market for a new job by nov. and in singapore law one need to be employed for at least 180 days before maternity benefits kicks in.

i hope that this cycle works, or not.....

of course it doesn't take 3 days with me

rite..3 days after last dose of AF inducing med - the doc said..

well AF didn't come till almost 8 days later (today) - while PMS symptoms started like 2 weeks earlier. duhz really.

in the end called FY to chk why..and if it still doesn't come by the following week, to go back and see him.

the next day, it came. and here we go, starting on the 3rd cycle in 5 months. I can't believe that we have been trying for 5 months with medical intervention.

It has been a very trying period.

p/s: of course since AF is late, i got to change the appt already made on my last visit to the gynae. and yes, it's a painless process. no dragon lady, no hang up..and guess what, even personalised reminders one day before the appt to ensure that you do turn up. now that's service.

next appt 13 Sep tues - CD12